SUPER TRANSFORMATION TUESDAY:
I’m doing this for myself mostly. To remind myself of where I have been and refocus. But here is a visual representation of my transformation of the last 5 years.
Photo 1 comes when I was about 220lbs (09 was the photo)). My highest weight was 250. I was a binge eater with a lot of depression issues centralized around Military stuff and just was very unhealthy and unwell for a long time.
Following that, the next picture (2010 right at my lowest weight, this started late 2009) is at the opposite extreme. I dropped from 250lbs to 132lbs in about 4 months because I was abusing diet pills and had a cardio addiction and a burn it to earn it mentality. In combination i was eating under 1k calories and only really in front of people as a front. I would literally run for 4 hours just to eat rabbit food sized meals and then go burn it off. It’s no wonder I did not fucking kill myself that year. The fucked up part was all the people telling me I was doing good and looking “great” so I kept pushing because I thought that’s what I needed to do to be attractive and deserving of other people.
The next photo is a few months (end summer 2010) after I started eating better, not enough though. I was still eating under 1k calories but I was exercising less and recovering more. I do look a bit fuller and you can see my arms starting to gain more mass. I was sitting at about 144.
Photo 4 is about a year after I picked up Bodybuilding in 2012-2013 (before I got the Power bug). I was about 165 in that photo and had gotten a lot fuller and gotten better with my eating habits. Training was still unfocused (oh this part is not sore let’s do that). I still struggled with body image and still do but that’s part of the learning to love yourself progress continuum.
The next photo is from December. 3 months after I picked up Powerlifting. My weight had gone up to about 180 in this photo. My strength had gone through the roof (prior to Powerlifting I had not Deadlifted ever and I squatted sparingly my maxes were 185x3 for each last July). I was pulling 405 in just a few months from picking up my first Deadlift. I hit the 1000lb club 2 months after starting (at 175 too) My body felt stronger. My confidence was stronger.
Which lead to the next photo back in April. My first 500 attempt which I failed but I was sitting at 186 at the time.
All the way down to the last gif. This is the final portion of a 501.5 pull I made in competition at 194lbs following months of struggling with some of my lifts. Hopefully the sky is the limit now.
I’ve learned recently to stop caring about other peoples comments on my body and do what I love. Which is why i do not care about my weight. I care about how I feel and perform and I will push to be the strongest I can be.
I hope you all can do the same and remember that if you are struggling with something, you are not alone. You can beat it.
I’ve picked up a lot of new followers lately and I’m reblogging this in case anyone is having a rough time with anything and wants to talk. I understand things involving body image and struggling with your relationship with food.
Through this, I extend an open invitation should anyone need anything or want to talk.